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John Oliver Calls Donald Trump’s Russia Scandal ‘Stupid Watergate’

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It took John Oliver almost ten minutes to take his first breath during “Last Week Tonight” on Sunday after attempting to discuss President Donald Trump’s meeting at the White House with Russian officials. The scandal involves reports that Trump met with Russian officials in the Oval Office, revealed classified information from Israeli security forces and called former FBI director James Comey a “nut job.”

“So that,” he said of the week’s biggest headlines, “is the shortest possible summation.”

The host also appeared baffled by Trump’s claims that “no president in history” has been treated worse than him.

“Wait, no politician has been treated worse?” Oliver asked. “Abraham Lincoln was shot by an actor. William McKinley was shot by an anarchist. JFK was, of course, murdered by Ted Cruz’s father. And James Garfield was shot, then to find the bullet, Alexander Graham Bell devised a kind of metal detector, which didn’t work, so doctors tried to fish around in his guts for the bullet with unwashed fingers, which just made his infection worse, so he died in horrible pain. But yeah, Alec Baldwin sometimes does a mean impression of you on TV. So yeah, it’s basically the same, isn’t it?”

But the highlight of Oliver’s 20-plus minute segment was where he called Trump’s Russia scandal “Stupid Watergate,” which he described as “a scandal with all the potential ramifications of Watergate, but where everyone involved is stupid and bad at everything.”

Arizona Senator John McCain seemed to concur. “I think it’s reaching the point where it’s of Watergate size and scale and a couple other scandals that you and I have seen,” he said Tuesday. “It’s the centipede [where] the shoe continues to drop.”

Oliver took this opportunity to reference the 2009 gross-out horror film, “The Human Centipede”. “It’s like the centipede that keeps dropping shoes,” he said. “But it’s real, and people wear shoes, so the Trump administration is really more ‘The Human Centipede’ in terms of the amount of shit passing through it and how nauseating watching it really is.”

He also pondered what a Trump impeachment would look like by taking a closer look at Vice President Mike Pence, who identifies as “a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican—in that order.” Nevertheless, Oliver seemed skeptical that Trump’s actions would have any real consequences.

“Why would this be the end of the line for him?” he asked. “Trump has seemed to reach the end of the line on multiple occasions, only for nothing to happen.” It was here that Oliver ran down of list of incidents that would’ve ended pretty much anyone else’s political career. Some of them included an endorsement from David Duke, which Trump didn’t immediately disavow, insulting Captain Humayun Khan’s Gold Star family, and an “Access Hollywood” tape where the president arguably bragged about sexual harassment.

Oliver clearly looked exhausted by the end of his lengthy segment. “I don’t know about you,” he addressed the audience, “but this week has drained me.” The host had no other choice but to condense his closing segment on the TSA—which was supposed to take 20 minutes—into only three minutes.

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