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Amazon Reviews That Will Make You Go ‘Wait, What The What?’


There are truly too many great things to say about the worldwide retail giant that is Amazon. Whether you’re a Prime user with a two-day shipping addiction or just an occasional online shopper, you’ve surely noticed some of the fantastically hilarious reviews that Amazon users write.

Here are some of the funniest (and strangest) ever posted.

Pens For Women? Incredible!

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“My husband has never allowed me to write, as he doesn’t want me touching men’s pens,” this woman wrote. Upon purchasing this pair of Bic pens “for her,” she was stunned. “The feminine color and the grip size has enabled me to vent thoughts about new recipe ideas, sewing, and gardening.”

 

The “Better Than Counseling” Marriage Saver

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“My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day’s banana slices,” remembers this shopper. “These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship.”

After purchasing the 571B Banana Slicer, she reports that her marriage “has never been healthier.” Great job!

 

Permanent Disguise, Horse Mask Edition

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“They didn’t have enough money to put me in the Witness Protection Program,” wrote this user, “so they bought me this mask and gave me a list of suggested places to move. Since then, I’ve lived my life in peace and safety knowing that my old identity is forever obscured by this life-saving item.”

 

Flatulence, Amplified

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Dennis purchased this hair removal gel cream and was satisfied immediately. He gave it five stars.

“Makes my farts sound louder,” he explained. “The hair must have acted as an interlocking silencer.”

 

The Three Wolves Shirt

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What hasn’t been written about this shirt? (Seriously, it’s an explosively popular meme across the web).

“Unfortunately, I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest,” remarked this shopper, “but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.”

 

Show The Kids Who’s Boss

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“I wear this mask to sing lullabies to my children,” said this quirky buyer. “Whenever they protest about their bedtime or ask for too many sweets, I whip on the mask… they soon know who is the King Penguin.”

 

The Electrocution Was Not A Success

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“Got this for the mother in law for bathtime, hoping it’d be crap, her Kindle would slip out and electrocute her.”

“So far, this bloody thing is staying in one piece. Great for waterproof Kindling, crap for murder.”

Alrighty then!

 

Wolves Not Included

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“There are no wolves in the movie,” this viewer remarked. How disappointing, right? They only gave it one star and they’ll never get those three hours of their life back.

 

The Life Changing Knife

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Kristi received this as a gift for her 18th birthday and explains that upon touching it, she “grew a mustache and became a Navy Seal.” Woah! “Mom fainted and my dad laughed and handed me a beer.”

 

Surf The Web In Silence

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“My girlfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up because I would keep her awake at night with my constant mouse clicking,” wrote this shopper.

“Not anymore! Consider this relationship saved. This mouse is so silent she will sometimes forget I’m even home and invite her lover over. He’s a pretty cool guy.”

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