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The Drill Down

Adults Share The Most Brutal Insults Toddlers Have Thrown At Them

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If you don’t have kids, you don’t know what they’re capable of. Even if you do have kids, you don’t know what they’re capable of.

The truth is, tiny humans can be deceitful and mean. They can bring grown men to tears and grown women to their knees. Here are ten stories that prove just that.

 

When You Bail On Hide-N-Seek

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“When my daughter was 3, she was playing hide-n-seek with my pops. He stopped playing and got upset…with her arms folded she yelled, ‘I don’t know why Nana married you anyway.’ He replied, ‘because she loves me.’ She says, ‘You don’t know that!'”

That’s what you get for bailing on hide-n-seek, pops.

 

That Moment Your Nephew Insults You

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“Me while cooking: ‘Ugh! Curry gets every dang where!’
Nephew: ‘Your shirt?’
Me: looks at curry stained shirt ‘Yep!’
Nephew: ‘Your teeth too?'”

Time to get whitening strips, auntie.

 

That Moment Your Nephew Reminds You How Lonely You Are

Giphy

“I usually watch super hero movies with my nephew. I asked him to see Thor with me and he told me, ‘Auntie, I think it’s time you get your own friends.'”

Ouch.

 

That Moment You Realize Your Niece Is Evil

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“My husband told my niece to stop picking on her sister. She whispered in his ear, ‘I don’t love you. I don’t even like you.'”

*Gulp*

 

Kids Can Really Tank Your Self Esteem

goodreads.com

“A five year old I was babysitting once told me, ‘Nobody likes you and your whole life is weird.'”

Kids are ice cold these days.

 

That Moment You Realize You Might Be Ugly

minnesota.cbslocal.com

“A kid cried hysterically after she was told that she looks like my friend. We then had to comfort the kid by saying, ‘you don’t look like her, we were joking.’ My friend didn’t know how to feel after that.”

 

When Your Daughter Doesn’t Like Your New Look

runwithmeblog.com

“I shaved my head and asked my four year old if she still thought I was beautiful. Her: ‘well…I think hats are pretty. Maybe you could wear one.'”

That’s when any mom would retreat to her room and cry.

 

That Moment Your Kid Chooses To Make A Scene In The Store

hopeforwidows.org

“We were in a store and my son once yelled, ‘You’re not my real mother!’ It was because I wouldn’t let him punch the punching bags.”

Every mom has had at least one of these moments.

 

That Moment Your Kid Threatens Your Life

NY Daily News

“My 4-year-old tried to pop out from behind a door to scare me while I was curling my hair. When I didn’t scream she was mad at me. I asked why she wanted to scare me while I was holding the hot iron. She said, ‘I wanted you to catch on fire so I could go to Wal-Mart and buy all the toys I wanted.’”

Um, excuse me?

 

Sometimes Kids Have Zero Mercy

thekenyonthrill.com

“After a long day at a kid’s fair alone with my daughter, I was a crumpled heap on the kitchen floor. She asked what was wrong and I told her I was tired and frustrated because we had a hard afternoon together. She crossed her arms and said, ‘Well, if you get frustrated so easy, maybe you shouldn’t have had kids!’ She was almost four.”

She’s a gem, this one.

The Drill Down

Artist Tw1tter Picasso Goes Viral For Hilariously Bad Celebrity Portraits

Throughout history, stunningly realistic portraits have catapulted many artists to stardom. The pool of artists famous for their inaccuracy, however, is pretty much just one: Twitter user Tw1tterPicasso. Corey, the mastermind behind the account, has gained over 167,000 followers by sketching comedically bad depictions of celebrities. Here is some of his best work. Jaden Smith Tw1tterPicasso certainly held nothing back with...

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Michael Moore’s Theory On Why Women Are Better Than Men Gets Destroyed By Woman

Filmmaker Michael Moore got schooled by a feminist after trying to prove women are better than men, and the internet is here for it. The controversial filmmaker took to Twitter to explain his theory only to get brutally shut down by writer Jessica Ellis. In a series of tweets, she brilliantly pulled apart his ridiculous claim before giving him a lesson...

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These Celebrity Wax Figures are the Stuff of Nightmares

There's something automatically kind of creepy about seeing life-like wax replicas of celebrities from museums like Madame Tussauds. But the creep factor jumps to 11 when those wax figures don't quite resemble their real-life counterparts. At that point, the only thing those wax figures are good for is being made fun of in lists like this one. Here are five...

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